Out of the cage...

To continue with yesterday's thoughts... One way I feel that can help people break out of their cage is by sharing what they're going through with other people that are going through the same thing. Sharing an experience you have gone through I feel is good for the person sharing, but it also may hit home with someone else and could help them in the process.

I know we all at one time have heard that saying that goes something like this, "There is no 'I' in 'team' ". For instance, in sports that require more than one player, you have a team. One person by themselves can't win the game. But as a team they can. So I would like to think of each person who is a member of www.BreakingFreeDaily.com as a team-mate of mine. I can't win the game alone. But we as a team can.

Or a better way to look at it is whatever it is that's holding us back from living a better and happier life is a war that has to be won. The only way to win a war is with battle. We here are the army that's going to battle to win the war. We as an army or as a team can get through this together. It can start with one person helping another.

End of the month

By the time my mail goes out (snail mail), and gets posted to my blog, the dates may not all match up just right on the blog. But please bear with me.

I am very happy to be through the month of August. I'm sure getting to the end of the month is no big deal for people who aren't lockekd up. In fact, it's probably normal for people to not want a month to end because that's one month closer to their next birthday and that's one more month to get older. Plus rent is due. But being locked up in prison when a month comes to an end, that's one less month that has to be done in prison. The months then add up to a year, and that's one less year that has to be done in prison.

Yesterday, a friend of mine in here drew a little picture of a cage with a circle in it. He handed it to me and said, "this is what I feel like my life has become... a vicious circle." When I look at the picture and with what he said it makes a lot of sense to me. In a way, I feel the same. Yes, my addictions and wrong doings have put me in prison, but I also feel that some other things have made me feel like I'm in a personal prison even when I wasn't locked up.

Maybe other people feel the same way at times, in their own personal prison, and I'm hoping http://www.breakingfreedaily.com/ could be the key to help other people get out of their personal prison cell, whatever it is.

Looking at the picture, I can relate to feeling like tht circle in the cage. First of all, I'm a very shy person and so for me using drugs help me feel more comfortable at first. Then the drugs became a way of life for me. After that, I guess it just became a habit and an addiction.

Now these days I for the most part feel like I have stepped out of that cage even though I'm still in prison. I don't feel shy as I used to be. But when I sit here and think about it I think all in all it boils down to choice. We have a choice to either be in the cage feeling down, depressed, or whatever, or we can be out of the cage feeling happy and free.

Trying to change

I have been in a handful of different prisons in the past 10 years and every prison I have gone to its always about the racial politics. And to be honest, I'm not racist at all, and I don't really care for the politics. But the politics are a part of doing time in a prison. At least that's how it was...
I'm sitting here is a prison and I volunteered for a Substance Abuse Program (SAP). This SAP is one of the only ones in a California prison that is volunteer, meaning all the guys in the program really want to change. So this SAP program for the most part has turned into a group effort.

Anyway, on the yard I am on, there are 10 dorms with 90 guys in each dorm and only 2 dorms are SAP dorms. The things that go in in an SAP dorm are different than the other ones. In the other dorms, they push the racial politics. So the living in the SAP dorms is alot more kickback. Don't get me wrong, things could still happen, like a riot could jump off, who knows. But it seems like this change that is going on in the SAP dorms is a positive thing.

If prisons were more about change than hate, riots and so on, maybe the return rate wouldn't be so high.

So why do I feel alone?

Have you ever felt alone at times but really you weren't alone? Is what I mean is at times even though I'm locked in prison with a few thousand guys, 900 of these guys on the yard I'm on, 90 guys total in the dorm I'm in and I can still feel alone.

When I think about it, there is not one second in a 24 hour period that I am ever by myself. So why do I feel alone???? It's because I'm away from the people I love most and that's my family. I feel that I'm thinking about this right now because of the visit I just had from my sister and nephew. It was a wonderful visit and I really had a good time. It brings to reality how much I miss my family and it shines the light on how much I feel alone without them near me.

So if anyone happens to be reading this right now why don't you go give one or all or your family members a hug and tell them you love them. If you can't go to a family member, then go to a loved one.

Keep in mind how lucky you are to have a family member or someone you love there for you to hug and get a hug from. There are alot of people who don't have that and would give anything to have it.