Prisoners like to have pets too...

Prisoners like to have pets too...
I'm writing this about pets because I have read blogs that my sister writes sometimes about their new puppy, and the things he does while growing from puppy to dog. So reading her blog, made me want to say a blittle about the pets that some of the guys have in here. Yes, some prisoners have pets.
Now the most popular pets in here are lizards. The owners of the lizards will walk around the dorm and the yard with the lizard just kicking back on their shoulder. It's kind of funny looking. But one thing that's good about the lizards is it keeps the flys down in our dorms. The lizard owners go around catching flies and putting them in jars. Then they'll take the wings off of the flies and feed them to their lizards. My neighbor's lizard's name is "spike".
My other neighbor has a big green praying mantis that is really cool. It eats crickets and big bumble bees. When you pick it up, it just turns its alien looking head right at you. It's kind of a trip.
And last but not least, and new to our pet family her in the dorm I'm in, is a pretty big tarantula. They caught it yesterday. And it's about the size of a silver dollar not counting the legs. It's really mellow and will just crawl right on your hand.

One Mom's smart drug prevention

Well I just got some things that one of my sister's sent me from my email today. One of the things I would like to talk about some things that were said by this mom. I would like to thank her for her email and congratulate her on her great work with her kids. And would like to share what she is doing, as I think it is wise advice for other parents.

This mom has 2 children ages 16 and 22 who because of some life circumstances with their father, would be at a considerable risk for drug use. So she has kept them very informed about drugs and the consequences that come from drugs. And her kids are clean as a result. She knows that teaching your kids to "just say no" to drugs is not enough. This lady went the extra mile to inform her kids about the consequences of drugs and I feel that is very important these days.

Don't just tell your kids to say "no" to drugs. Explain to them why to say "no". Show them proof of the destruction that drugs cause. These are YOUR kids that you are trying to protect from a life of hell and misery. Over time, our goal is for www.BreakingFreeDaily.com to have graphic proof of the destruction of drugs that you can show your kids.

Some things that this loving mother has done for years is to "show" her kids what drugs do on a regular basis, by reading horror stories of real life drug additction stories in newspapers, magazines, etc. Showing pictures of people who are on drugs and how terrible they look. She did all she knew how to scare her kids away from drugs. And from what I can tell, she has done a wonderful job.

Here is a thought I worry about alot. Parents think, "Not my Tommy. He would never use drugs." For one thing, I was squeaky clean, the last kid that you would ever think would try drugs. For most parents, the signs are there right in their face, but they still have denial about their kids using drugs. They just can't see it. By the time they figure it out, it's too late. Either their kids are addicted, in jail, or dead. But like this mom has done, prevention is even better than detecting your kids are using drugs. Even if you think your kids are immune, there is no harm in educating them as this mom has done. And it could save their life.

You don't have absolute control of your kids' actions, but as a parent, there is alot you can do to actively steer your kids away from drug use. If you can keep it from ever happening, then that's awesome. But please don't ever think that addiction or trying drugs is something that would never touch your child. This is the biggest mistake I see parents making. We want to think the best of our kids. And that's good. But you can never be too proactive in your mission to keep your kids drug free. Talk alot. Make it a daily mission to find material to show them. Even if they roll their eyes and get tired of you blabbing... They're listening and they know you mean well and love them. And it just might save their life.

Putting differences aside

– When I think about what happened the other night, with everyone coming together brings the thought of what I want www.BreakingFreeDaily.com to be like. Something like one big family or team coming together to help each other through a time of need. Without barriers of race, age, differences in lifestyle, differences in opinions, or politics…

Last night, one guy had a problem and 89 other inmates put their differences aside and stood together. When that happened, it was an awesome feeling. A feeling of strength, a feeling of joy, and a feeling that anything is possible.

I’m looking forward to getting our message board up on the website. It’s coming. With the message board, content, resources and even my blog, I hope that www.BreakingFreeDaily.com can be there for someone in a time of need, or boost up someone’s confidence, or give someone motivation to take that extra step, and come together as a family or team to give the support and feel the strength of our unity.

Let’s dedicate ourselves to living a better and happier life.

Sometimes it’s weird how things work… You may help someone in need sometime, and the next thing you know, YOU feel on top of the world! You feel better about yourself. Wonder who you can touch today?

Taking things for granted...

Now this is kind of weird...
Earlier I was writing about taking things for granted and in fact it's a very easy thing to do. Anyway, someone just came up to tme to show me something they read in a book. Now the book, I guess is called, "How To Deal With Fear and Worry" by K Sri Dhammananda. In this book, it says "I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet." Maybe I should think twice before I start to complain about having no privacy. ?????

Where is all the hate?

Tonight I witnessed something that I felt was pretty amazing and is a step in the right direction for prisoners who want to change their ways. As you may know, I’m in prison, in a Substance Abuse Program where the inmates involved are trying to change their lives. And one of the things we are trying not to partake in is all the racial politics and hatred that is part of prison living.
The circumstance that brought about this breakthrough was very sad, but the unity was awesome. An Asian inmate here just found out that in three days, his grandfather will be taken off of life support. That’s the sad part. But tonight, at 9:15 PM, all 89 other inmates, including myself, joined in prayer for our fellow inmate’s grandfather. So now picture this… 90 guys who are different races, not all ordinarily religious, joined hands in a circle and all heads bowed. The brotherhood that I felt was great. And so extremely foreign to prison life, or anything that I have ever seen or ever thought I would experience in prison. Afterwards seeing some of these guys with tears in their eyes. It was pretty cool unity.
Where was all the hate???

Protecting the space in my mind

One thing that I’m very glad that I’m good at is that I don’t let just anybody occupy space in my mind. For the most part the only thing that occupies space in my head is my family, goals, dreams and my own thoughts.
I can sit here all day and observe a number of people throughout the day who let someone else in here occupy their brain in a negative way. Someone does something that they don’t like, or they felt disrespected them, and it affects their character completely. I can understand something bothering someone for a few minutes or maybe even an hour. But some of the guys in here let the smallest things affect them for days. They walk around in a bad mood for days, complaining about nothing really. I think they would feel a lot better, if they just got over the issue, and went on with life. Turn the damn page already… let it roll off your back, and move on!
Here is a question for members of BreakingFreeDaily.com. This may not apply to everyone, but for the ones it does: What one or two things would help you feel peace in your life? And/or… What do you do that may help someone else feel peace?

How much is "privacy" worth?

While sitting here in prison, I start to think about all the things I took for granted out there in the free world. The list is very long, but one of the things I have really been thinking about is "privacy". How much would you say privacy is worth? I don't know, but I sure would like just a little privacy at times.

First of all, it's very hard to study and get school work done. That's been getting to me a little... and so is not being able to enjoy a cup of coffee by myself. I know that may sound stupid, but let me explain. My sister sends me a package of goodies every few months. In the packages, we can get hygiene products, coffee, candy, cookies, etc. Well we all pretty much drink coffee in here. And in my package my sister sent me I have a vanilla caramel flavored creamer that is really good. When I make my coffee and put the creamer in it, it puts out this strong aroma. Anyone and everyone I walk by can smell this wonderful smelling coffee and now they want some... and so on. It's really a never ending battle, and I'm sure it sounds stupid to those of you out there in the free world. But privacy is one of the simple things in life that sitting in here I realize I took for granted, along with many many other things.

I "Almost"...

Who out there has seen the commercials that talk about “almost giving” or donating for a charity? And in the commercial, they say that “almost giving” is the same as not giving at all. When you think about it, that’s true. Then I was thinking about that word, “almost”. And I feel that I have used that word a lot in my life. Maybe I never said the word to someone else, but I think I may have told myself it time and time again. Here are a couple of “almost”s I think I may have told myself.
I almost got a membership to the gym so I could start working out.
I almost saved enough money to put a down payment on a truck.
I almost didn’t do that line of speed, that in the end pit me back in prison.
I’m sure I could go on and on with the almost that I should have done or not done in my life that would have left me a lot better off. Now I’m trying to either “do it” (whatever “it” may be) or don’t do it. One thing I know for sure is something that is positive for my life, or my family, friends, and loved ones, I’m not going to “almost” do it.

Out of the cage...

To continue with yesterday's thoughts... One way I feel that can help people break out of their cage is by sharing what they're going through with other people that are going through the same thing. Sharing an experience you have gone through I feel is good for the person sharing, but it also may hit home with someone else and could help them in the process.

I know we all at one time have heard that saying that goes something like this, "There is no 'I' in 'team' ". For instance, in sports that require more than one player, you have a team. One person by themselves can't win the game. But as a team they can. So I would like to think of each person who is a member of www.BreakingFreeDaily.com as a team-mate of mine. I can't win the game alone. But we as a team can.

Or a better way to look at it is whatever it is that's holding us back from living a better and happier life is a war that has to be won. The only way to win a war is with battle. We here are the army that's going to battle to win the war. We as an army or as a team can get through this together. It can start with one person helping another.

End of the month

By the time my mail goes out (snail mail), and gets posted to my blog, the dates may not all match up just right on the blog. But please bear with me.

I am very happy to be through the month of August. I'm sure getting to the end of the month is no big deal for people who aren't lockekd up. In fact, it's probably normal for people to not want a month to end because that's one month closer to their next birthday and that's one more month to get older. Plus rent is due. But being locked up in prison when a month comes to an end, that's one less month that has to be done in prison. The months then add up to a year, and that's one less year that has to be done in prison.

Yesterday, a friend of mine in here drew a little picture of a cage with a circle in it. He handed it to me and said, "this is what I feel like my life has become... a vicious circle." When I look at the picture and with what he said it makes a lot of sense to me. In a way, I feel the same. Yes, my addictions and wrong doings have put me in prison, but I also feel that some other things have made me feel like I'm in a personal prison even when I wasn't locked up.

Maybe other people feel the same way at times, in their own personal prison, and I'm hoping http://www.breakingfreedaily.com/ could be the key to help other people get out of their personal prison cell, whatever it is.

Looking at the picture, I can relate to feeling like tht circle in the cage. First of all, I'm a very shy person and so for me using drugs help me feel more comfortable at first. Then the drugs became a way of life for me. After that, I guess it just became a habit and an addiction.

Now these days I for the most part feel like I have stepped out of that cage even though I'm still in prison. I don't feel shy as I used to be. But when I sit here and think about it I think all in all it boils down to choice. We have a choice to either be in the cage feeling down, depressed, or whatever, or we can be out of the cage feeling happy and free.

Trying to change

I have been in a handful of different prisons in the past 10 years and every prison I have gone to its always about the racial politics. And to be honest, I'm not racist at all, and I don't really care for the politics. But the politics are a part of doing time in a prison. At least that's how it was...
I'm sitting here is a prison and I volunteered for a Substance Abuse Program (SAP). This SAP is one of the only ones in a California prison that is volunteer, meaning all the guys in the program really want to change. So this SAP program for the most part has turned into a group effort.

Anyway, on the yard I am on, there are 10 dorms with 90 guys in each dorm and only 2 dorms are SAP dorms. The things that go in in an SAP dorm are different than the other ones. In the other dorms, they push the racial politics. So the living in the SAP dorms is alot more kickback. Don't get me wrong, things could still happen, like a riot could jump off, who knows. But it seems like this change that is going on in the SAP dorms is a positive thing.

If prisons were more about change than hate, riots and so on, maybe the return rate wouldn't be so high.

So why do I feel alone?

Have you ever felt alone at times but really you weren't alone? Is what I mean is at times even though I'm locked in prison with a few thousand guys, 900 of these guys on the yard I'm on, 90 guys total in the dorm I'm in and I can still feel alone.

When I think about it, there is not one second in a 24 hour period that I am ever by myself. So why do I feel alone???? It's because I'm away from the people I love most and that's my family. I feel that I'm thinking about this right now because of the visit I just had from my sister and nephew. It was a wonderful visit and I really had a good time. It brings to reality how much I miss my family and it shines the light on how much I feel alone without them near me.

So if anyone happens to be reading this right now why don't you go give one or all or your family members a hug and tell them you love them. If you can't go to a family member, then go to a loved one.

Keep in mind how lucky you are to have a family member or someone you love there for you to hug and get a hug from. There are alot of people who don't have that and would give anything to have it.